"Blog 17"
Emerging From The Bubble
A lot of people have asked what is happening with your blogs, as I haven’t read one for a couple of months. It is not that I have lost interest it is just that my life has been turned upside down and I have had to come clear in my head what the next steps should involve.
Nearly six years ago I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I was told I had 3-5 years to live. So doing the math’s I am doing well. As you would have read in my story at https://www.candicewalker.com/my-story, I have lived my life in a bubble. The bubble was designed to protect me from the ills of the world. My blogs have centered on what is needed to move from the bubble and confront life. I will provide a link below to my blogs in case any of you want to start the journey. I have learned a lot and it is what was required because I over the last couple of months I have been in appointment after appointment to avoid the conversation that I am now resigned to.
Over the last six years I am convinced that my tenure has been prolonged due to being a true believer in the redemptive power of hope and compassion and as one of my friends says “the skill acquired living in the ‘bubble’.” Whilst many others quickly spiral into a depressed state when diagnosed (and hence cut their life expectancy), I have always remained optimistic (some say oblivious) to my predicament. I have never thought about my mortality and instead have focused on life experiences for my children and myself. It has been about maintaining a quality of life unparalleled. I am not going to sit here depressed of what I don't have, just grateful for what I do.
My doctors have always said that radiation and chemotherapy is my last option. This week I started my first treatment. For nearly six years, I approached my quarterly MRI with immense anxiety and trepidation. Thank goodness for the power of sedation. Normally I was relieved post scan, as progress was minimal. The recent scans told a different story. The uptake had increased significantly. Not wanting to settle on one opinion I have spent the past few months seeking alternative means. I have left no stone left unturned. It is not a decision I have taken lightly. But one necessary, to extend my time with my children. I have wanted to stay in my safe zone, my bubble; yet emerging from this state is one I have to take to ensure I live as long as I can. My focus is on helping my kids become the best people they can, whilst I can. Then it is getting through the next six weeks of radiation treatment and 12 months of chemotherapy. I have my whole life after that, but right now I have to be here for my kids as they are doing it tough.
What I do know is that I am ready and armed for the fight. I am in the best physical shape of my life and this gives me an advantage over so many others entering radiation. I am mentally prepared for the journey ahead and know that “I have got this”. My faith in my children and God has ensured that I live with no regrets. Emotionally I am a bit wobbly and know that I have to find ways to keep my emotions in a place where I can thrive through this arduous period.
Whilst I have been vigilant with my physical pursuits I know that whilst I am in treatment (and this stage it is nearly everyday for the next six weeks at least) I will be limited in what exercise I can undertake. Realistically I will be bed bound watching Netflix so my fingers may be the only body part that gets a work out.
What I do know is that I will be doing everything to maintain and extend my emotional wellbeing. So to that end I am going continue writing blogs on topics that keep my soul nourished and heart enhanced. It is just as much for me as it will be for you. It will be the tonic I need to keep ahead of this fight. I have to find ways to keep my emotional state as strong as titanium. I have emerged from my bubble and ready to take on the world warts and all.
My purpose & passion will forever be to inform and inspire people with cancer and their loved ones. For those who want to catch up on the blogs that take you from a non-believer to a True Believer please click on the following links:
1. My first blog - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/my-first-blog 2. The non-believer in you - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/the-non-believer-in-you 3. From non-believer to True Believer - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-3 4. The non-believers in others - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-4 5. Six Tips For Living With Non-Believers https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-5 6. True Believers Lead With Love - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-6 7. Building Your True Believer Tribe - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-7 8. Those Who Believe - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-8 9. Five Benefits Of A True Believer Tribe - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-9 10. How To Be A True Believer - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-10 11. The Power Of Belief - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-11 12. The Power Of Conviction - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-12 13. Maintaining Your Mojo - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-13 14. The Power Of Commitment - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-14 15. The Power Of Productivity - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-15 16. Expire The Old Stuff - https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-16
I thank everyone who has helped me so far. You are all True Believers! And I am grateful for all the love and support that I will pivot off as I approach my upcoming treatment.
Next week we look at ‘how’ soul can ignite the emotional connection.
What we can achieve with those who believe, has no limits!
Love & Peace
Candice