"Blog 9"
5 Benefits of a True Believer Tribe
Last week we discussed how we need other True Believers on the journey with us – those who believe. Refer to https://www.candicewalker.com/blog/blog-8 As a brain cancer patient, this is pertinent to get us through the tough times but also to realign our hope and faith. Life can deal us rough breaks and it is so easy to lose focus and to let trauma overwhelm us. To question why the cards have been dealt this way? For all of us, surrounding ourselves with True Believers is the panacea to the many pains we face. It also allows us to grow.
We will look at these five benefits in turn.
It’s difficult to know or to find all the answers on your own. There’s only so far you can go on your own. You can Google ‘cancer’ and spend weeks and months being overwhelmed. However the success picture is incomplete without ongoing learning from the right people. The right people to learn from are those who have walked the path we want to walk – they have expertise and wisdom through their experiences. I rely on Bob heavily, my mentor at my weekly meditation. His wisdom resonates with me every day.
At the same time, though, we can be easily influenced – particularly in the more vulnerable early stages of learning. It is easily to be controlled, so we have to be so careful – actually fierce – about who we listen to, about surrounding ourselves with those who can protect our self-belief. Who don't belittle us or make us play a small game. The wrong advice from people can undo our good work.
And here is the most powerful gift we can receive from (or give to) other True Believers. As a True Believer we can see greatness they can’t yet see in themselves. There is something special for everyone to share – as their mentor we can help them find it. Belief helps to facilitate learning.
Sometimes we think we have lost our mojo, but all we need is to get support and work alongside people with similar values and vision, and who are, best of all, people you like. And like a relay race it becomes a combined effort, creating many benefits by getting support both at home and in your personal life. It is why I keep up with people in my support group, because living a life where there is a short expectancy can be truly debilitating.
We can’t do it all – it is time to delegate or stagnate. Once you have delegated you are left with high value tasks. Even if you are quite capable of playing the game alone it doesn't have to be a solo effort. So never feel guilty when people offer their support to you.
Once you find the right support people, invest time and energy in the relationship. Life rocks when you do!
They say if you believe you are half way there. Possibly the second is doing the work – taking action! But I think the second half is having a True Believer tribe to hold you accountable to do the work, to take action. I have always loved helping people; yet it wasn't until I was diagnosed with cancer did my true purpose emerge. However, if it weren’t for people in my True Believer tribe, this purpose would have stayed inside me. I have a personal trainer who guides my health; I have other people who ensure I maintain a weekly blog to make sure that my message builds. And others who keep my mojo ticking over.
I have experienced the rewards of accountability myself. I know that accountability is a key difference between those who become successful and those who do not. Commitment is about delivering on the promises you make to yourself. Others help you to commit. Yes it may be a bit of pressure, but the gentle hand of accountability – pulling you along and saying, “Keep going” – is a worthwhile and necessary pressure.
As True Believers we come together to make a contribution – to make a difference in the world. When we get ourselves right we are then in the best position to help others and to contribute to making this world that little bit better as a result of our contribution. It’s why we, as True Believers, have such a responsibility and opportunity to influence. But I’m certain that it starts with us – getting ourselves right first. I think that is ethical. Self first is never selfish when you want to help others.
Maya Angelou has said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Have you ever had a dream and someone has ‘knocked’ it. Tried to set a new path only to be met by jealousy? How did that feel? Have you ever had someone that, no matter how you have treated them will still go the nth degree for you? How fiercely loyal to them do you become? I call these people your True Believer friends. Because sometimes we don't believe in ourselves – you know those moments of doubt. True Believer friends stand by you; they have your back, and will hold the belief for you – without rescuing – until the evidence of success shows up.
When you surround yourself with a few quality True Believer friends, they may or may not be going for the same thing as you, but they understand you, and their belief, conviction and commitment is unwavering. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to – someone who listens and believes in your vision. When it comes to maintaining your mojo remember all work and no play makes us dull. True Believer friends help you to have fun and enjoy the journey. They don't succumb to complacency.
Hang with those who get it!
Many, in the beginning, share their concern that they feel quite isolated and need more connection with others. It is particularly prevalent in the months where you are diagnosed with a tumor or other traumatic revelation. In many cases, this is because they have outgrown their current tribe and they are searching for other similar people who understand their journey. How many times have we personally experienced or heard others say, “This is such a lonely game.” But it doesn't have to be that way. When you get involved, ask questions and contribute where you can, it isn’t so lonely. Learning from each other, sharing ideas and interacting, is what True Believers do well. The game is only lonely if you don't get involved.
What we can achieve with those who believe, has no limits!
In next week’s blog, we will look at the elements of True Believers.
Love & Peace
Candice